she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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