Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
