New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
