Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
