remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize
