I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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