I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
