is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
