it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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