I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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