He had one of those small greek statue penises
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
