Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
