you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
