Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
