did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
