I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Come on in and take your pants off
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