I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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