the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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