do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
