also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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