we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
