Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize