Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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