it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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