I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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