Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize