remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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