I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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