Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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