honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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