you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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