he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
