I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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