sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
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Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
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Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
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