I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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