yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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