i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I supernannyed him into submission
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
