I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize