if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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