I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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