Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
