great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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