i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
