Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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