Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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