This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Randomize
