Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize