Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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