Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
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