You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I fill condoms, not promises.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
