we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
