yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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