At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
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In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
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Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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